As parents we regularly do disgusting things, that if we didn’t have little people there, we wouldn’t ordinarily do.
Eating the half chewed, sucked food that our little darling forces into our mouths and “shares” with us!
Smelling their bottoms to check if they’ve done a poo in the nappy.
Sucking a dropped dummy or bottle teat when there is nothing to clean it with.
To non parents these things will seem pretty disgusting. Compared to the story I’m about to share, they are tame.
Thankfully I’ve a small readership and I’m quite sure my SEO is appalling.
One afternoon while a toddler Buddy took his afternoon nap and Mrs OMG was out with her mother (otherwise known as The Outlaw) I decided to do a bit of housework.
I swept and mopped the kitchen, bedrooms and hallway. I then turned my attention to rhe sitting room. I made short work of cleaning out the fireplace. Dusted and cleaned the tv and then started to wipe down the armchairs and couch.
On the couch I found a small round chocolate looking ball. Without thinking I popped it in my mouth.
Sweet Jesus “That’s not chocolate Toto” I said to myself. I quickly spat the offending item out.
A quick sniff confirmed my initial fears. Instead of a chocolate covered raisin or maybe a Revel or one of those mis shaped Poppets I’d popped a dried Poop Nuggett into my mouth.
The sitting room cleaning was abandoned and instead I spent the next 30 minutes, brushing, flossing and gargling with mouthwash.
On her return I recounted my adventures to Mrs OMG, only for her to inform me that a Poop Nuggett had rolled out of Buddy’s nappy when she was changing him and she’d forgotten to pick it up.
Moral of the story. Don’t eat chocolate unless you’ve seen it being unwrapped!!
Do you have any embarrassing child related stories?