Being a Chosen One

I never took to being adopted very well. There was always something at the back of my head wondering about the selection process.

I make a little joke every now and then saying my parents wanted to adopt a pretty little girl, and the social workers threw in the 5 year old freckled redhead as an extra. They do say many a true word spoken in jest. Maybe deep down this is what I really believed. I’ve never asked them why they chose us. I probably never will.

I’m not one for talking much. Well I say that, what I really mean is. I’m not one for talking about feelings much. I’ll tell anyone my adoption story, and when they say “oh that must have been hard” I’ll shrug I of with a, “Ah sure what can I do, other kids had it worse.”

I never liked the whole idea I was “chosen” People say I should feel special and wanted, as they chose me. I don’t see it that way.  I wrote before about how the advances in science are at a point where parents could choose sex, eye colour and other characteristics of their child here

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My Sister and I with our natural father.

To me it seems akin to buying a puppy. You look at the pictures and some you like the look off. A bit more of a detailed look into the backgrounds and a few more are crossed off the potentials list. Then finally you narrow them down some more and then go see the chosen one/s.

What goes through someone’s mind as they scroll through the pictures? Aw look at his lovely red hair. Oh he has green eyes. He looks a bit like you. Then the negative, oh he’s 5 we were hoping for a younger child. There are two of them! He’s a ginger!

Don’t get me wrong I am grateful to my adoptive parents, if they hadn’t adopted my sister and I, we probably would have ended up spending our formative years in care and would probably be drug addicts, alcoholics and or in prison.

I still can’t shake that feeling that I was “bought” I know the days of children born to unmarried mother’s being sold. Were over by the time I was adopted but I still have that feeling. Let’s face it I’m sure the orphanage were glad another two were gone. After all it’s two less mouths to feed and children to clothe.

I’d love to hear from adoptive parents their point of view. Leave a comment.

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10 thoughts on “Being a Chosen One

  1. I can see what you are saying with your thoughts regarding adoption. My MIL was adopted as a child and I think she has some complex feelings regarding it. Like you she was adopted by some good people but I don’t think that takes away how she feels about being adopted in the first place. If that makes sense?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I can’t even imagine what it’s like because I didn’t have to face any of that, so forgive me if I even leave a comment, but I find your story touching and I wish to bring a slightly different perspective to the story… From the adoptive parents point of view… I know someone that was not able to conceive and decided to adopt a child. They went through hell and back in order to adopt and never in their mind did they think they were buying their child. The only thought that went through their heads was to be able to love this person and care for him. They truly believe they were meant to be together. They love him as if he were their biological son, and i love to see how happy he looks with them. I hope I didn’t offend you in any way, as this was absolutely not my intention. Thank you for sharing

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a really touching post. My dad was adopted as a baby, I’ve never really talked to him much about it, although I feel like I want to now. I know he always considered his adoptive parents, his real parents, but there must be more complex feelings deep down too. It sounds like you were brought into a loving family. Thanks for sharing this. xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Did you ever speak to your adoptive parents about how or why they chose you? I can imagine, especially as there’s been so much conversation about adoption in recent years, that it must make you wonder and think.
    My sister has adopted a child, now a teen, from abroad and I wonder in time how she’ll feel.
    It’s good you’ve experienced love now you’ve become a dad

    Liked by 1 person

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