Top Five Reasons I Wish I Was a Toddler.

As a boy I was mad to grow up. I wanted to get a job, house of my own a wife and kids. (I know, madness) This being an adult isn’t as much craic as I thought it would be.

I mean, those bills have to be paid every month! Kids grow, really fast, shoes, trousers, shirts, underpants and socks need buying frequently.

In light of this I’ve been contemplating that age old question. What age would you like to be again.

I’m a bit weird, so I frequently get told, and rather than being in my 20’s or 30’s or even back to school days, which I actually enjoyed. I want to be a toddler.

Toddlers rock and here are my top Five Reasons for wanting to be a toddler again.

Clothes are optional!

Since having Little Miss OMG my already threadbare, Primak’s finest, wardrobe has been even more neglected. This isn’t much of an issue. No one notices the fact I own two pairs of jeans. A different t-shirt each day makes it seem like a different outfit.

Little Miss OMG on the other hand has FOUR drawers full of clothes. Last count she had 20 t-shirts and Lord knows how many leggings. This is not an issue. We don’t have wails of “I’ve no clothes!” From her.

Why not? I hear you ask, because clothes are optional to a toddler. Knickers and wellies are perfectly acceptable attire for puddle jumping on a wet and windy Autumn day!

 Self Confidence is at Donald Trump levels.

At times I may lack confidence. Be it in my own abilities or going out and approaching people. If it wasn’t for the birth of the internet I wouldn’t complain about anything. Overcharged on a bill, oh well. Mouldy bread, it happens.

Little Miss OMG has no such worries. Someone at the park playing on her swing. She’s there. “It’s mine!” Toys in the Doctor’s waiting room. Over she goes and Wade’s right in. Doesn’t matter who else is playing she is there. Someone with toys outside playing. Over she goes and joins in.

They sleep when they want.

I’ve suffered from insomnia for as long as I can remember. At boarding school I’d stand on my bed reading by the light of the street lamp till all hours. Or I’d listen to the radio or Billy Connolly tapes on my Walkman. As an adult I end up looking at the clock, calculating the hours until I have to be up.


Little Miss OMG has no such worries. She sleeps when she wants. Feeling a bit sleepy at 7.30pm.  No problem. I’ll sleep till 2am and go back to sleep at 4am. Meeting with teachers at 11am. Time for a wee nap.

Ice Cream is acceptable for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Whilst us adults have to worry about the food pyramid. Fibre, 5 a day or 10 a day. Saturated fat, sugar, carbohydrates. Hidden sugars. Mono saturates, omega 3 fish oils. Not to mention vitamins and minerals.


Given the choice and left to their own devices ice cream would be the main food stuff for all meals. They might mix it up a bit for some variety. In a cone, in a bowl. With syrup or without. Sprinkles or marshmallows. The possibilities are endless.

When all else fails throw a tantrum!

Now we’ve all been there. In the supermarket and we witness a toddler throwing the mother of all tantrums. For any number of reasons. In all likelihood the cause of this outpouring of emotions was probably because they were told NO!

There are a good few occasions on a weekly basis that I’d love to be able to throw a tsunami sized tantrum. Alas I’m an adult so we have to keep the emotions under control. No wailing and thrashing about on the floor for us.

How about you? What age would you like to be again?


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