Why I’ll Be Voting Yes to Repeal The 8th Ammendment.

I’ve been blogging off and on for just over 3 years and in that time I’ve managed to keep any political views away from the blog. I have a few half written drafts about Brexit and how it will affect my family but that’s about it.

So why then is Repealing the 8th amendment a topic I’ve decided to write about? There are a couple of reasons.

  1. As a father, this is an area I may be confronted with in the future
  2. I have personal experience of this.
  3. I have the ability to look beyond my own personal opinions.

I remember at 17 a conversation with my then girlfriend about what would happen if she was to become pregnant. Unlike me she had dreams and ideas about what she wanted to do with her life. Having a child at that point wasn’t one of them. In what to me seemed a callous and uncaring manner, she told me she would go for an abortion.

I on the other hand was desperate for a family of my own. My own flesh and blood. I was adopted as a child, old enough to know what was going on yet still young enough to not have any real memories of my birth parents. To me the idea of aborting my child was simply unthinkable.

Yet as she pointed out to me. What I think or want doesn’t matter at all. As a man I have no say in the decision. Growing up I thought this was unfair. I would after all have been the father. With an older and wiser head on my shoulders I can see now this is a pretty stupid line of thought. After all how could you force a woman to carry a child to full term that she didn’t want?

When I was just a father to boys I used to laugh at the memes and jokes about dating daughters. I was known to even comment. “If I had a daughter she wouldn’t leave the house till she was 18 and that would be to an arranged marriage!” Now before you go on, that was only said in jest and I certainly don’t advocate for arranged marriages! Now that I have a daughter I find these jokes and memes abhorrent. I even recorded a short rant about it.

With my older wiser parents head I can think now, why should anyone be forced to have a baby that isn’t wanted? Unless that woman/girl wants to bring a life into the world, will cherish them, love them unconditionally and spend the next 18 years at least raising them. We are only forcing pain and suffering onto both the mother and child.

On New Years Eve 2001 I had to work. I was living in Peterborough and working in Sunbury on Thames. As it was very quiet and the boss knew how far away I lived she let me finish early. Instead of driving straight home to the girlfriend and her children. I stopped off in Luton along the way to meet some friends and wish them a happy new year. I then set off home. I was talking to my best friend on the phone (using a hands free kit) when my Girlfriend rang. I took the call and she asked me had I finished work and to stop at a shop and buy a pregnancy test. You would have thought I would have been delighted to hear this. After all it was what I had always wanted. A child of my own. My heart sank. I had made the decision to finish with her. We weren’t suited together and had different ideas in practically every area of life.

I bought the test and went home. She took it and showed me it was positive. Instead of joy I felt like I had been punched in the gut by Mike Tyson. Needless to say she sensed my feelings and we broke up. Many will think I’m cruel and heartless, but by this point I had seen many friends and colleagues who were with or had stayed with partners for the sake of the kids long after their relationship was effectively over. In my experience it never worked out. The ones who suffered the most were the children. Was it right to stay with her just so she would have the child for us to be arguing and fighting all the time? I knew I didn’t want to be a weekend father which in all probability was what would have happened in the long run.

She went and had an abortion.

Looking back this was the best thing for all concerned. Her, her children, myself and the child. I wasn’t ready to be a father in a committed relationship, never mind co parenting. How would she have been able to raise her girls and look after her elderly gran whilst working to support her family whilst pregnant.

I’m in a position now where I have my children. Four is plenty. Do I want to force my daughter or son’s partner to have to go abroad to get an abortion if that is what they think is the best thing for them? No I don’t. Do I want to get a phone call from the hospital to hear that my daughter or son’s partner has died in labour because they weren’t allowed to perform an abortion to save the mother’s life? No I don’t

This is why I will be voting YES to #Repealthe8th


8 thoughts on “Why I’ll Be Voting Yes to Repeal The 8th Ammendment.

  1. I’ve done a few political posts on my blog but don’t share them on Linkys etc as I appreciate that not everyone is interested.

    Brexit is a really hard one as it’s so divisive but not commenting on it in some way seems dishonest as it will impact all our lives. I’ve been sharing the letters to my MP and their responses. Which are total pish.

    Fingers crossed for the vote 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m in an unusual position regards Brexit as I’m an expat with Irish roots but can’t get an Irish passport. (Long story)

      The freedom of movement will affect me as the family will all still be EU passport holders.

      I wasn’t able to vote in the referendum as it’s been too long since I left UK.

      Thanks for commenting.


  2. This is such a difficult and divisive issue. I can understand your point of view but I was brought up to believe that, even at foetus stage, it’s a life, so I can’t reconcile a decision to end a life just for convenience.

    Having said that, one of my most recent posts was about the fear of facing an unexpected pregnancy. And that was absolutely terrifying. You suddenly realise how much your life is going to change, and the financial implications, and the impact on yourself and the loved ones in your life, etc. So I can understand why people turn to this solution.

    It’s a tough one and I don’t think you can truly understand it until you’re faced with it yourself. It’s not as clear cut as some people would have us believe… #dreamteam

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is certainly divisive. It’s not something I personally would do, or encourage any of my family or children to do when they are older.
      Not everyone feels the same though and I do think each women should be able to make that decision themselves.

      Thanks for hosting.


  3. I really liked this post. Such a difficult one and you put your point of view across logically, reasonably and eloquently. And as you say you are writing from experience. I also know, and you know, by nailing your colours to the mast you will attract all sorts of people who will not be content for you to have your point of view, but will beat you over the head with their indisputably “correct” take on it all. That’s why in Ireland we still can’t have a reasonable discussion without the extreme left and extreme right shouting their heads off and no-one gets heard. Truth is, I believe it’s a tricky one, and on balance, I am in favour, but not without a heavy heart when it comes to what involves termination of a human life.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Thanks for sharing such a personal and honest post with the #DreamTeam. I do think that everyone is difference and as Lucy has already said, it’s hard to know what you would do, and what would be right until it happened to you. But having a choice is certainly something that shouldn’t be removed from the table in a hurry.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such a powerful post to read Alan. I applaud you for sharing your own story on such a sensitive and emotive issue. I agree that everyone’s circumstances are different and what is right for one person wouldn’t be right for another, but that we all deserve the right to make that decision for ourselves. Thanks for linking up with #DreamTeam.

    Liked by 1 person

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